


Next Time On: I Shouldn't Be Alive

by Lavender_Siren



Category: Homestuck
Genre: First Time Blow Jobs, Genital Piercing, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 00:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7553548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavender_Siren/pseuds/Lavender_Siren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know you're not supposed to be in here, but you kinda can't get out without getting caught.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Next Time On: I Shouldn't Be Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kadomatsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadomatsu/gifts).



The urge to interrupt him before he finished was overwhelming.

You are John, and you may either be the luckiest man alive, or the gods just wanna watch you suffer.  
Most people would consider having the opportunity to witness their crush sprawl out naked on top of said crush’s bed a blessing, and it is.   
Oh hell yes it is.  
But would it be too greedy of you to wish that he’d be able to retreat back home without running the risk of getting caught?  
The answer, apparently, is yes.   
Maybe it wasn’t the gods who answered your not-so-secret fantasy. Perhaps you somehow triggered a finger to come down on the monkey’s paw, and this was the result of how your wish became distorted.   
Now’s not the time to be wondering about what unseen force had caused the day’s events to lead up to where you are now. Now is the time to put your years of half assed dedication to mastering the art of magic, to the test. Your greatest act yet, making yourself disappear! You shut your eyes and flail your arms wildly all around you, trying to create a pattern of some sort, mutely chanting a jumble of words that rhymed. 

You open them to see that you are still in the closet, how ironic.   
Maybe you weren’t such a great warlock after all. What a shame.

A long drawn out exhale captured your attention back to this free once in a lifetime (that might be ending if you get caught) show that was shamelessly being displayed right beyond the closet door. The room had all the lights off save for the window blinds that were left open, the moonlight pouring into the room and drench the blonde on the bed in it.   
Truly a sight that was set up just for you.   
Boxers wrapped around his ankles only to be kicked off as he thrusted up into the air, hands clasped firmly around his cock. The only clothing left on him was a black tank top that had glistening spots cascading down his shirt; you already had a wild guess at what it was.

Wow, how did you not notice how painfully tight your pants were? Oh, that’s right, you’re eyes had been a little busy gawking at the very thing that caused your now throbbing erection. Honestly, you had no option to decide on whether or not to jack off to this because you were 99.9% sure that you would explode if you didn’t do anything about it. You put your fingers between the closet’s blind and opened it just a tad bit more so you could peer through it. After all, you did have front row seats and why waste them by not taking full advantage of the view. Your free hand was now snaking its way down your trousers, wrapping itself around your member.

Normally, you'd massage yourself for a bit before going to the great land under, but there was no point since you're already hard, and you weren't a teasing hoe.   
The only problem with where you were (besides the obvious one) was how cramped the space was. Your back is being cushioned by a wall of hanged clothing, and your shoes are colliding with no doubt his shoes and whatever else he stuffed in here.   
A low hum that begged to be released as a moan sped up your pace.

God, you were good. But just imaging that it was Dirk who was pumping your slick cock right now, who was letting those sweet sounds spill directly into your ear drove you insane. Your eyes start to droop down, and you want to allow them to shut completely but you want to see, need to see Dirk as you're committing your sin. Heat creeps up your cheeks, and your breathing is reduced to ragged panting.  
It's getting too good to the point where your insides are bubbling up something fierce. You bite down hard on your bottom lip, but your mouth decides to betray you and instead hangs wide open in an ‘o’ formation.   
Dirk wasn't anywhere near done when you uncontrollably came all over his closet door, gripping that blind you kept open for support.

You would have to clean this up, can't afford to leave any evidence. You glance up to witness Dirk pausing still, dick in hand so you assumed he had finished and you just missed it or happened to both come at the same time. How much more ‘bonding’ can you get?  
All of the color on your face drains away, your flushed cheeks are ice cold now as Dirk gets off of his bed.

And walks towards you.

Goodbye world, it was meh knowing you.  
Oh god, what do you do? Do you have enough time to pull up your pants, or should you just let actions speak louder than words on this one?  
What you did instead was stand there frozen in place, awaiting your death with what little dignity you had left.   
The door creaked open and a half naked Dirk blocked the entrance. His eyes widened slightly and his eyebrows raised in unison before smoothing back down to his usual neutral expression. Well, neutral expression with a dash of red cheeks and heavy breaths.  
He inches closer, probably to inflict the final blow to your head and dump your body in the ocean, which would suck cause you’re fear of sharks would haunt you in the afterlife. Instead, he sealed the gap almost completely between you two, his head tilted right by your ear.  
“Hearing you moan really riled up my buddy here.” He whispered harshly into your ear, pulling back into your view to motion his head down to his...um, nether regions. It’s one thing to be secretly spying on it from a distance, but to actually have it this near and being suggested to look at it is well, embarrassing. But you can’t complain, you’re still alive and it would appear that Dirk isn’t mad at you (probably because he’s still horny as fuck).  
The words he spoke finally registered in your mind and you had realized that you did not come as quietly as you thought.

“Dirk, I can explain, or try to at le-”  
Lips smothered the rest of your sentence, tongue sliding inside your mouth with such ease you felt a little ashamed at how easy you were; but to be fair you were ambushed. Ambushed by Dirk’s tongue that had no manners, just barged right into your mouth and is now currently snooping around inside (kinda like how you did in Dirk’s room). He roughly pinned your body up against the clothes, hands darting under your shirt and wandering as if they were mapping out your skin in their minds. You needed air, you burned with every touch that singed your body, every lick that mimicked the flick of a flame rolling over your lips and crawling back into your mouth, you swore that smoke was drifting out of your mouth it was so intense.

You had your hands crossed together at the back of his neck, but you dropped the right one to grip the hem of his shirt, lowering your fingers to swipe down his top, brushing against a sticky section which you had recalled it to be his own cum.   
Speaking of cum, in the heat of the moment you had nearly forgotten that your pants are still undone.  
Oh yeah, and Dirk had gone commando.  
Opportunity rises to the occasion yet again for you to bump up your sin count for the day. You grind your hips up against his, making sure to position yourself so that his cock rests right between your legs. He sets your mouth free, trailing down a stream of kisses that pooled at your neck. You try to gulp down air to make up for the limited amount you took in before with a tongue shoved down your throat.   
“Nngh, Dirk...I want you to fuck my mouth.”  
Just before you were gasping for breath with a tongue down your throat and now you want a thick cock to replace it? John, you truly are a thirsty hoe; and to further emphasize your thirst, you thumbed over the leaking tip of Dirk’s cock and brought it up to your mouth, staring him in the eyes as you lapped up the small amount.  
You definitely took him by surprise, maybe more than when he found you being a pervert in his closet. 

He moved over so his back was against the wall, his hands gently pushing you down by your shoulders, and you promptly got on your knees. The light from the moon managed to bounce of something metallic, and you went absolutely wild at what your eye caught. Dirk fucking Strider has his dick pierced right near the head. There was no advantage for it to be there, no one would see and say how cool and edgy it was. That’s the whole reason it turned you on though, you would be the few people that get to witness it, let alone play with it in your mouth.  
You ran your tongue along the side of his cock, curving your tongue to get more of the width of it. One straight line seemed too boring, so you decided to become an artist and zig-zag your way down the underside of his dick, sucking at the piercing when you reached the tip. Hands clutched at your hair, and you could hear a gasped “Fuck” thrown out into the heated air. You couldn’t help but let a grin spread across your swollen red lips. You gradually engulf his length with your mouth, exhaling hot air that made him shiver in pleasure.  
Never in your virgin life did you ever imagine that you would be on your knees with a throbbing cock resting in your mouth, your tongue swirling around it as if it were a god damn Popsicle. Today was definitely a day you would remember, and also NEVER utter a single word Dave.

Your tongue swept over the head of the piercing and you caught a hint of the metallic taste from it, moaning as you decided it went pleasantly well with the saltiness of Dirk. Another low groan emitted from the blonde, and you now noticed how his dick pulsed against your teeth. You inhaled deeply through your nose before you continued sucking him off, trying to reach up his shirt to tease one of his nipples. You found one, and rolled it between your fingers with mixed pressure. At the same time you began to hum to further stimulate Dirk’s now shaking body. You felt the grip on your hair tighten, and you braced yourself as best as you could with no experience on swallowing. Dirk’s cum shot out in long spurts down your throat, warming it as it slid down when you swallowed.   
You unlatched yourself from his cock, wiping off the saliva smeared on your mouth off with the back of your hand. You sat there watching Dirk lift his thrown back head up, returning back down from his orgasm. He stared at you with half lidded eyes, a small smirk pulling up the corner of his lips. He put his boxers back on before patting the side of his bed.   
“Hey, John. Sleep over for the night?”  
You half expected to be thrown out when you were done, you’re grateful you aren’t.  
You nodded and walked towards the side of the bed, your waist immediately being cradled as soon as your body hit the mattress.  
“This was fun. We should do it again sometime.” Dirk whispered in your ear.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even in the homestuck fandom but the idea came up to write this for TipsyApple.


End file.
